Posted by: suek2001 | July 16, 2016

“I should have learned to play the guitar”…

The older I get…the more regret can creep in…and the closer I feel like I get to a midlife crisis….

I don’t think my midlife crisis will be selling my house(I rent)….closing the shop…( I am not that ambitious to be a business owner..)..and I won’t be giving anyone a stand up routine in LA..(I’m hilarious but only because I quote other funny people)..

No, my midlife crisis almost came today….and it almost happened because of a banjo…

As my five loyal readers know, I work in a hospital..dietary aide….the glamorous uniforms were what drew me to the job….and the nice paycheck and other long term benefits…..It is what it is..a job with no real sense of glory and accomplishment…except solvency…

Still, I work there….and every day I count down to Fantasy Camp…So, today, I was in my usual morning haze of confusion. The early hours are not my thing but I manage…when a gentleman walked by me in the hallway..


He was carrying something..I noticed a long necked instrument….and I asked him, “Sir, is that a banjo?

He turned around and smiled…..and he was carrying a banjo…I was in awe…I love banjos….the music they make sends me into orbit…yet, this one was special..Most banjos are white with six strings and  a black neck with a white fret board…this was not…

It was brown…wooden…and it reminded me of some of the pictures I had seen in a documentary on the banjo….sort of like what the first banjos would have looked like from Africa…

The man seemed quite proud of it..I asked him where he got it..and he said “I  made it myself….See this part, here’s the cloth over the circular it a nice drum sound…and the top part here is made of cedar resin wood”..The body of the banjo had a fringe around it…almost made it look like a moccasin….I wish I had my camera to take a picture but I have no need to have my camera while I work..

I asked him if he made them to sell…”No, I just do it as a hobby”..and then he had to get moving..He had a purpose to his walk..I knew he was bringing it to play someone to cheer them up…

I stood there for a moment….and for about 15 seconds, I seriously contemplated, leaving behind my job and following him where he went…For I knew, there was music there…and life…and joy….and all I had was my job…I realized my Mom would kill me if I wandered off to follow a banjo player….

So, I went back to work…and wondered….

What is it all for? Do we bills and die? Is that what we are put on this earth to do?

I envy musicians….they have this knack of playing beautiful instruments and sing songs of getting to the heart of who we are….and they get paid for it…at least the successful ones do….

There’s also the often told stories of the life on the road that leads to lonliness, substance abuse and monotony…but I still would give anything to have talent to play an instrument…

The closest I ever came was the cello…I was in the sixth grade..Mr. Perry convinced me that my arms weren’t long enough to play the viola(the violin was too flashy for me) he made me switch to the cello…

I could play the notes well enough but I never seemed to capture the spirit of the music…the notes would flow but the heart wasn’t there….and that seemed strange as I love music….I just cannot play it…

I think about learning guitar or banjo but I don’t think I have the discipline to learn…and my wrists are kinda funky…

So, God gave me a talent for writing…and this blog is a good use of that talent..but I wish I could sing..I wish I could play….and I regret that I settled for a slightly easy paycheck instead of  a passion..but paid passion is hard to come by…or barely legal in some places…

So, I work…and dream of Fantasy Camp… work was not easy the rest of the day….and then I thought of a friend’s t-shirt…He had them made up for his music group last year..and it made perfect sense to me…and the picture is what I will close my blog with….and only 24 days!






  1. So tell me, Sue …. what kind of banjos are white with six strings and a black neck with a white fret board?? I have never seen such a beast .. have I been missing something all these years??? Ha .. We’ll see in 24 days.

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