Posted by: suek2001 | January 22, 2015

All the words unpoken…

The last 24 hours has been a stress-filled one…

You may notice I did not have a blog entry for yesterday..My DSL decided to give me fits yesterday…and I didn’t trust it to behave..Today, I’m going to give it a shot..

That’s not really why I am stressed..it all started Tuesday afternoon…..

When I am at work, I call my mom from one of the work phones there..couldn’t get to one due to meetings…so I asked my friend to call her for me and tell her the reason she didn’t get a call..

He called..no answer..it just rang..and rang…I called…no answer…it just rang and rang…

I had a feeling something was wrong..her voicemail had been on the fritz…and I didn’t know what to do…Her phone also had a habit of dying but instead of just keeping calm..I prayed..then I worried..

We just had a sermon about this very thing..Do not worry…It’s so much easier to preach about..than it is to live it out…especially if you only have one living close relateive…My Mom..and she’s as close to a best friend as I could have…

I didn’t sleep that night..I had visions of her lying on the floor and no way of getting up…I would have checked on her but she lives in another state..a far away, warmer state…

So, I messaged a friend to go check on her at 8am Wednesday…She was fine..She wasn’t mad that I sent someone to check on her but she casually strolled out of the bathroom as the friend knocked on the door…”Oh Hi” mom greeted him…

I never was so happy as to hear her voice….In that long night of worry, I didn’t solve a thing..I didn’t sleep…and I prayed a lot….I went over our last conversation and had guilt for pulling the “I gotta get back to..” card…when I should have lingered…

I was also mad that I spend $465 on a round trip ticket to see her and then she dies..three week before I go? No..just..no…

I am so glad she is here…I am not ready to lose her..truth be told, I don’t think I will ever be..

True, she won’t be lost when she goes..I know where she is but that doesn’t mean the loss won’t be felt by me….

It frightens me that I will be alone….True, I have friends..I have my church family but they also have their families and their lives to tend to….there’s something about my relationship with my Mom that supersedes all that…

I’m just glad I have it for a little while longer…

 

 

 

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