Posted by: suek2001 | January 7, 2015

“I’m younger than that now”

I am a sucker for dates and times…I can’t recall names and faces but dates and times are what I know best…

Twenty years ago today,, I moved out of my Grandma’s house and into a rooming house in Minneapolis. It was my first step to living on my own. I lived with my Mom for about 23 years until I moved to Minneapolis..and moved in with my Grandma…I was thrilled..She wasn’t…

It took me years to appreciate why Grandma resented me for moving in with her but I understand completely now…

At some point, most little girls dream of their wedding and meeting their prince charming…at least in theory….There’s a weird sense of validation for a girl to get married. It may not be said explicitly so but it is there..

So, we dream of a house with a great husband or partner for life…and to never be alone…

I was on my way to that fantasy life..and then I moved into Elliot House…

Elliot House was a block away from North Central University….At the time, it had rooms for about nine women…I moved into a room on the third floor…

I lived there for six years….I have some good memories of that place..and I recall having freedom that I didn’t have before but overall, I would never do that again.

In the six years, I live with so many different women..different ages..different backgrounds..different goals in life…

We all got each other’s nerves…we all had issues that vexed us and we all tried to establish our own version of house rules…

Someone once stated that living in that situation prepared us for marraige. I  disagreed. In marriage you chose youir partners after falling in love or realizing your life wouldn’t have the same meaning without them….

I would bet a hundred bucks that none of my roommates felt that way about me..and there’s no one I can say that about either…

Still, I can say, living there was a learning experience..If anything, it prepared me to go into the job market with an appreciation for different backgrounds.. Living in that rooming house was a crash course in how NOT to deal with other people…

I did have friends from Elliot House..We’d meet up on occassion but it’s been about fourteen years since I’ve lived there…and my life is different..my location is different and my friends are different..

I think I realized I wasn’t cut out for living with other people on an overnight trip to Duluth. I was staying at a low-budget motel…and had to run an errands..I came back and used the bathroom…The simple joy of going into the bathroom and seeing the toilet paper roll with the same amount of sheets on it as when I left, was something to behold…

I knew I had to leave..and a year later, I did..I moved to Duluth…

I’ve lived in Duluth on my own for about 14 years..and have no desire to get married or share my space again…There is such a thrill to living alone that whenever I visit Elliot House to see old friends, I feel claustophobic…and it even happens when I visit Mom…

I still would love to fall in love..get married..and have a sweet bank account but we’d have to keep seperate apartments….I really don’t think that’s was marriage is….and I think I can live with that…

My Grandma threw me out of her house because we weren’t getting along..Deep down, she knew that I was scared to live alone….and after so many years of being married and having her oldest daughter live with her..She was scared she’d never be alone…..Before I moved in, she lived by herself for about a year or two..and she grew to love it….

She would live another six months by herself after I moved out…I would visit and the two of us would revel in our new freedom as people living alone….

I felt bad for her as cancer ravaged her body and it forced her to give up her freedom as she had her daughter and son-in law move in….She still was happy that I was figuring out things for myself…I regret never thanking her enough for the shove…

 

I think she would be happy where I am now..and proud that I am independent….just like my Mom…

 

 

 

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