Posted by: suek2001 | December 19, 2012

Dream a Dream instead…….a reflection on Newtown….

My relationship with children has been a hard one to define…I have none of my own nor do I want them….I never babysat anyone nor did I want to when I was younger..I was blessed to be an only child…

For years, I feared being around them…and believed that all children needed to be 15 feet away from me at all times..sometime though, I let them in close……and they touched my heart…..

Still, as I write this, I have no desire to have my own but I feel an enormous loss after the Newtown shootings…

I’m sure there will be blogs with rantings for and against gun control…for and against prayer in school…and all the societal ills that are responsible….All that does is cheapen the loss and bury it all in some selfish pandering to those who believe the same as the writer…

Believe me, I’ve done enough of that here and in my old blog…..This will be different….

Most of the victims were in first grade…..I recall very few things about my life untill the first grade…that’s where long-lasting memories last…if you are blessed with meeting a lifelong friend…hearing a great song on the radio or knowing your Mom and Dad love you…those memories last a lifetime…

Being six is really one of the most innocent times in your life…..At that age, you learn to appreciate puppies and kittens and their endless hours of love and devotion….you learn what makes a great city park….is it the swingset that sails you through the air or the slide that is so tall, you can see for miles before sliding to the bottom?  It’s the thrill of sitting next to your best friend in a circle in a classroom as your teacher does story time….It’s the reality of knowing who your true friends are during a sleepover…whoever remained in the sleeping bag next to you by morning…

There’s also the wonder in hearing about God for the first time and thinking He’s some white haired guy holding up the sky and making it rain or shine…and all the dogma of how to worship or what exactly to believe hasn’t quite sunk in..and The Cross is a mere symbol on top of a Church…..

It’s watching the sunset and seeing the stars come out with your parents and grandparents as they show you all the constellations…..and wondering “Will I ever catch a butterfly?”

Being six should be all of the above….and for 20 children, it will be no more…and for the friends and family of this tragedy and the victims, it has ruined that age and that mystical time of wonder known as childhood….

I ache for those children lost…and I ache for the childhood memories that will be poisoned by all this…

So would all the adults please take a step back before we blame guns, violence, schools. games, the mentally ill and mourn for these children…and their parents…for they lost the chance to share in the wonder of their little ones growing up…and they lost more than those of us who don’t have children could ever know…

I will close with a line from a John Denver song that has floated around my head as of late..It’s from a great, esoteric album on growing up called “Spirit”..The song is called “Pegasus” and the line speaks to what we lost that day:

A kid knows what he wants to be before he’s nine or ten, cowboys clowns and men of war,some one else’s friend”—–John Denver/Joe Henry

A lot of friends both present and future were lost that day….May God have mercy on us all…

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Responses

  1. “It’s watching the sunset and seeing the stars come out with your parents and grandparents as they show you all the constellations…..and wondering “Will I ever catch a butterfly?””

    Those lines are what really get me about this because they’re so real. Those are the moments of my youth that I was able to keep. It’s heartbreaking that those children have lost their lives. It’s just as sad that everyone else who is there is going to grow up with trust issues. You’re supposed to be able to be innocent at such a young age.

  2. For me, I remember being Age 6 more than I remember the years before that and even after. Being 6 was like the first year in life when a trip to the zoo or a circus fills the senses with so much stimulation and fun. And that’s what’s sad about the kids who were shot in Newtown — you’re beginning to experience the joys of life and then it’s over in a matter of seconds. I can’t even fathom to think how it all happened and the horror that followed inside the school. Life has ended for 20 children and six adults who were passionate about their vocation. Thanks for sharing this Sue. — David


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