Posted by: suek2001 | October 6, 2010

For all the Tylers out there…

  I’ve been mulling this entry over for awhile…as the subject hits close to home.  So, if it doesn’t come out right, please forgive me.

 I will be the first to admit, I was not a popular kid in school. I had one year of popularity at Dunbar Middle School but that was because I chose to make a fool out of myself and win a break dance competition. I choose to remember that era as the one time I was popular. Others will no doubt say it’s different.

Part of my back story is that I was bullied. My definition of bullying was being called names, shoved and mocked. Today’s bullying is a whole different ballgame. I never thought I would say I was fortunate in the way I was bullied but after hearing of how Tyler Clementi was bullied, I see things a bit different now.

In case you don’t know the story, here’s a link:,,20431956,00.html

 Now, there’s been thousands of blogs dedicated to this issue and using the gay bashing angle. This will not be one of them. I will let those in the Gay Community discuss that side of this incident as they have a better, closer viewpoint than I do.

I will, however, join in the chorus of those that say , this has got to end.

 Pushing people to the point of suicide is not a game. It is not living by the commandment that God has given us. Love one another as I have loved you. Love your neighbor.

 If I hear one excuse about “how it was a prank, it shouldn’t have gone that far”, I will scream. Bullies have their excuses lined up and we as a society need to put a stop to it. Bullies sometimes have parents that protect them and even lawyers stepping in.

For those that can only think of death as a way out of something embarrassing or horrible, let me share some advice. I was given this in a counseling session that saved me more times than I can count. You don’t want death. You want an escape. They are two entirely different things. Once I figured that out, my life changed and I was more than willing to let God in on my pain and shame.

 Heaven is a promise but only for those who let God be in charge of their lived. Taking your life is a narcissistic grab for attention. As the saying goes, it’s a permanent solution for a temporary problem.

 As I look at Tyler’s picture, all I hear in my head is a line from am old Caedmon’s Call song:

–”What crime have you committed, demanding such a sentence,

could it wait five more minutes and a cry for help?”.–from Center Aisle

Tyler isn’t here to see all the love and outpouring for him. No one is once they take that final step. We really should love one another now..while we are here..Five minutes of love and support could save friends and family a lifetime of grief.

Do it for God.

Do it for yourself.

Do it for all the Tylers out there.

…before we all pay a price..



  1. When I was bullied, the neighbor’s parents took the attitude of “the parents should let the kids work it out”. That somehow it wasn’t their responsibility – perhaps it wasn’t.

    The problem with that whole attitude is that kids don’t work things out. The whole bullying dynamic is somewhat akin to the sick fish in the tank, that is being systematically ripped appart by the other fish. The kids who bully tend to only feel the thrill of the kill, and it will not end – it feels on the part of the victim – until his or her own death.

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